The Infinite Loop


     I use to keep a dream journal tucked between the mattresses of my bed.  I’d pull it out in the morning or even in the middle of the night and jot down strange dreams I would have.  The other day I had a very strange dream that would qualify as one of the strangest dreams I have ever had.

     I have been having difficulty sleeping at night.  This happens to me from time to time.  Last week I found myself feeling exhausted at around 4 in the afternoon and though it was not an ideal time to take a nap, I really had no choice.  My insomnia had caught up to me and I was crashing.  Sometime after falling into a deep sleep I was awakened by a sound.  It sounded like my husband had come home and was dragging the garbage can to the curb.  I pulled myself out of bed thinking I must have overslept and it was 7pm already.  I went into the spare bedroom to look out the window as that was the side of the house the driveway is on.  It wasn’t my husband; it was a group of teenagers coming down the drive from the side of my home.  Thinking they had been messing with our shed I decided to go outside to investigate.  As I reached the top of the stairs I made a disturbing discovery.  I was not awake.  I was still lying in bed.

     I forced myself to open my eyes to confirm that I was still in bed.  Yep, there was my ceiling fan above me.   I contemplated going back to sleep but I knew I had to investigate the sound I heard.  I had gotten it in my head that there were teens up to no good and I just had to find out if my suspicions were correct before I could sleep again.  This time I walked in a drowsy fog to the window in my room because I thought they had already walked down the sidewalk and I’d see them from the other side of the house now.   I struggled to push the curtain aside only to come to the realization that it should not be this hard to look out the window.  “I’m still asleep,” I thought to myself.

     Again I lifted my eyelids and heaved myself upright.  Whoever was messing with my stuff would be even further down the road if I did not hurry to catch them in the act.  I was angry at myself for not getting up sooner.  My long hair was covering my face but looking down; I could see the floor well enough to get to the window.  I couldn’t see well through the veil of my hair and was confused by how hard it was to brush off my face.  Clarity crept in, “Still in bed!”

     I just had to see what those rotten little hooligans were up to!  What had they stolen?  Was it the lawnmower; my practically antique ten speed bike; the barbeque grill?  I fought for consciousness.   I lifted my heavy head from my pillow and thought, “No wonder I can’t wake up.  I’m dead tired.”  My eyes closed and I drifted back to sleep with one last thought, “You’re just being paranoid.  No one is out there.”

     “No; I hear voices.”  Whatever sound had started this odd chain of sleep thoughts, was real and I had to get up to investigate.  This time I shook myself both mentally and physically.  I rushed to the stairs and descended.  With each step reality took hold.  A peek out the dining room window showed the garbage cans had not been moved and I would not even need to check the shed because the dream was already fading and no longer had the ring of truth to it. 

     I’m not sure now how many times I dreamt that I had gotten up.  At the time I thought it was about seven times, but now I’m not sure.  Several days have passed and like a distant memory, the details are now fuzzy.  This is not the first time I have dreamt that I woke up, only to realize it was all a dream.  It seems to be rather common as friends of mine have told me they have experienced similar dreams.  It certainly seemed unique.  I have never been trapped in such a repetitive and long loop of illusion.  It made me feel so helpless and confused while I was enveloped in the dream.   After waking it just seemed odd.  I am in awe at the depth if my subconscious.  

     Have you ever had a similar dream?  Did you feel the same awe when you woke from it?

Published in: on March 16, 2011 at 10:45 am  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. The main thing is you finally did wake up! I have had some weird dreams in my time and those I can remember are posted on my blog under ‘dreams and visions’.

    Shirley Anne x

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